Elton, Scorpions, and Tree-humping

Gawd, I love Elton John.

I'll follow that unabashed admission with this: Yes, I do know he's gay; Yes, I realize I’ll never have his children. However, it's not that kind of love. I love the fact that he has made so many songs that just ROCK. I'm not talking about the new-school, Disney-lovin' Elton John who sings about the Circle of Life. As touching as the song was on The Lion King --- and in high school chorus performances for years after --- it's nowhere near the level of old-school Elton John's music. Don't believe me? I challenge you to listen to "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues." Turn it up, and rock the fuck out.
Seriously. That song is so frickin' good, it's almost blasphemous. Everything from the bluesy-as-hell, almost fifties-pop-inspired beat, to the ingenuous lyrics are reasons to rock this song as loud as you can, chair-dancing all the way. I would go as far to say that this song's chorus has one of the best lines in pop music. Take the chorus:

"I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands, could be time spent with you.
Loving like children, living like lovers,
Rolling like thunder under the covers.
I guess that's why the call it the blues"

Holy cow! "Rollin' like thunder under the covers!"
That is frickin' MONEY. It is HOT. It describes --- in only six words --- the passionate, unforgettable, and absolutely out of control love-makin' most people only experience during rare, beautiful moments in their life. Something so fleeting, but so unforgettable, you could relive it in your head for years after the fact. And then Elton puts out this song, which, with ONE LINE, belted out in his British accent, can bring it all rushing back?

It's enough to make me wish someone would Knight him. (Actually, they already did. Which justifies the notion even more that this flaming individual rocks the house down. They don't just knight anyone nowadays...)

I’m exhausted just thinking about it all. That, and I've listened to this song turned all the way up on my ipod four times since starting this post. At this point, I'm going to have to take a reprieve to go do something magical. Or hump a tree out in the parking lot. Either way, this song is intense. And, it makes me feel invincible.

Even as I type that, I'm reminded of the power of music. It’s amazing how music has the ability to coax even the longest-stored memories out of the cobwebs of our minds. How many times has a song come on the radio that reminded you of some long-lost person or time in your life?

Whenever I hear the Scorpions screaming "Rock You Like a Hurricane," I'm transported to Iwakuni, Japan, walking home on a quiet sidewalk in 2002 with one of my favorite people after a long night of drinking, dancing, and laughing my ass off. I had that song stuck in my head, because one of the D.J.s had played it during the night (a great move, btw, b/c it's a great song). Speaking of great lyrics, "rock you like a hurricane" is also pretty money --- but in a totally big-hair-and-parachute-pants sort of way. As I pointed that out to my 2002 liberty buddy, he looked at me, raised an eye brow, and drunkenly exclaimed, "You? Hell no. For you, this song should be Rock You Like a Meteor Strike!"

I share this story not because I want you all to think I've always been a smokin' hot heartbreaker --- but that even five years later, I can't help but change the words in my head to "meteor strike" every time I hear this song. And I remember that moment, and I can't help but laugh.

It's the same way Bitchin' Camaro by Dead Milkman reminds me of tearing through Richmond, Va., in 2000 in my '83 Camaro Z-28...or how anything by Offspring reminds me of my friends Marla and Joe from 9th and 10th grade. And how Garth Brook's song, "If Tomorrow Never Comes," takes me back to my first-ever french kiss. Or how I can't ever listen to "Fishin' in the Dark" without flashing back to country nights in Iwakuni --- every time the song came on, the guys in cowboy hats would lie down on the dance floor, and their female dance partners would dance horizontally on top of them. It was enough to give “fishing” a whole new meaning…

It's almost as if the more music you listen to, the more memories you'll relive. And when you've had a life as rich with friends and great memories as I've had, you want to remember every single one of them. At the very least, music can bring back those memories otherwise erased by four years spent drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. ;)

So go forth, my good friends and bloggees! (I made it plural, though I'm sure there's only one person reading this. He's pretty much the envy of all mankind, so I'm confident others will follow in his footsteps.)

Rock out with your cock out, y’all.